In one year, out the other

If you’re trying to pay off your credit cards, quit smoking, get a new job, find a mate, or shed some excess weight, abandoning New Year’s resolutions won’t get you off the hook.

But by setting more realistic goals for yourself and not limiting yourself to a once-a-year, do-or-die, all-out assault on that mountain of debt, those flabby thighs, or the hideous wallpaper you keep meaning to replace, you may find that the finish line isn’t so far away after all.

According to USA.gov most people commonly resolve every January to: lose weight; manage debt/ save money; get a better job; get fit; eat right; get a better education; drink less alcohol; quit smoking; reduce stress overall and/or at work; take a trip; volunteer to help others.

“The cycle is: deprive yourself and then binge and make up for it,” says Elizabeth Zelvin, an online therapist. “New Years after New Years, millions of people make a resolution to go on a diet, and a diet is a way of eating that feels so depriving that you can hardly wait to get to the end of it so you can go back to doing what you did before.”

“’One day at a time’ is the antithesis of making New Year’s resolutions.” Darin St George, a personal trainer, says when people come into his gym on January 2, resolving to turn their lives around with a new exercise regimen, their first training session involves a reality check.

“I tell people straight up: I’m not in this business to lie to you,” St. George says. “This is going to be the hardest thing you ever do: you are turning back the hands of time. There are a lot of machines in this gym, but there are no time machines.” It’s fine to make New Year’s resolutions, but only if you see them not as unbreakable promises to yourself, but as positive statements about possibilities, says Jason Elias, a psychologist from Belmont, Massachusetts.

“What New Year’s resolutions tend to be is a statement of your motivation of your intentions – like a bit of cheerleading for yourself,” he says. “But the problem with that is that sometimes people set their goals too high, such as ‘getting my life back on track,’ and those things are way too big to keep track of, to know whether or not you’re even making progress on them.”

Elias says what can be helpful for keeping New Year’s resolutions is public accountability: Make a resolution and share it with others.

“When people tell family and friends that helps them stick to a plan. But if they don’t have a plan, they aren’t going to get very far.”

The problem with most New Year’s resolutions is that they tend to accentuate the negative rather than latch on to the affirmative, says Lynne Brodie, a business coach.

“Resolutions are all about taking something away from someone,” she says. “I think if people framed it differently and made it more of a positive experience, then it would be easier for people to keep resolutions, and psychologically it would make them feel a lot better about themselves.”

The first and most important step to keeping New Year’s resolutions, therefore, is to understand your goals, she says.

click to enlarge RESOLUTIONS: Whether you plan to get out of debt, lose weight or get fit in the New Year, set realistic goals © GOOGLE PICS

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